- Referring to any four-legged animal as a weird dog
- Massively underestimating the number of nearly uncountable objects
- Massively overestimating the number of clearly countable objects
- Bad puns in TV episode titles
i was trying to open a pickle jar and it fell and shattered on the floor and there was pickles and glass and juice everywhere and i slow turned to my cat and whispered “well we sure do find ourselves in a pickle here” then stood there laughing alone in a dark house illuminated by the fridge light while surrounded by my disaster
there is not a better feeling than someone playing with your hair
Or running their fingers down your back.
Unless you thought you were alone.
And now, the weather.
how much do islands cost i want one
Less than a college education
what the fuck
i hope you’re all having a great day
"i need a movie where there are kickass female characters"
"i need a movie where the main characters aren’t attractive"
"i need a movie with annoying talking animals"
"i need a movie where the main character lives in a swamp"
"i need a movie that has all star by smash mouth on the soundtrack"